baby tears

Don't let this cute little face fool you. 

This girl can cry, and cry, and cry from sun up until sun down. I don't know how she does it. or WHY she does it. It's her colic kicking in again, I suppose. :( 

For a few weeks, she was doing awesome! Happy as can be. Now, it seems as though we've gone about 30 steps backwards. It makes me sad because nothing I do seems to soothe her... even the vacuum is getting old to her. What's a mother to do? 

Oh, I know!  A car ride! She loves car rides.... 

So that's exactly what we did yesterday. 

I had to run some errands and she fell asleep in the car. I thought, " Oh, good! She's asleep. I can run my errands with her no problem!" ( Boy, was I wrong.) 

We went to Target... she was half asleep, sorta content, whimpering as time went on. 

After about 15 minutes, I found myself in the middle of the aisle in Target feeding her bottle to her.

People were staring. Oh well. A moms gotta do what a moms gotta do. 

Then we went out to the car and she had a complete melt down. It was as if her whole world was ending. I took her out of her car seat and soothed her as best as I could. ( How do baby's know when you're sitting down? She'd much rather be held while I'm standing at all times. I don't like this not one bit.) 

Finally, I soothed her to sleep. I HAD to stop by the post office across the street because I had to get something mailed THAT day. Shoot. I took a deep breath and drove to the post office. ( Probably one of my least favorite places in the world next to the place where you get your drivers license and Wal Mart.) I walk in with the baby covered in her car seat... half asleep. 

Of COURSE the line is practically out the door and there are 1,000 people inside. I was just waiting for Madeline to have an absolute melt down and then have people stare at me some more. With a few prayers in my heart, thankfully, she was calm. Ugh, I despise that place. 

I felt so bad even taking her on those errands... she clearly wasn't happy with me. 

Never in a million years did I think running TWO errands would feel like running TWO marathons with a baby. It took all my energy I had yesterday to keep her happy and calm... and then stressing out when she would scream and people would stare. ( I can't believe people stare and give dirty looks to us mothers with crying babies. I'd like to have a few words with those people...) 

If we take her ANYWHERE now days, she usually just cries and cries... and it makes me sad.

and stresses me out a bit. 

I found myself counting to 10 in my head and taking deep breaths yesterday. 

I think she'd be happier if she took naps during the day... but the girl FIGHTS sleep and refuses to sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time. (Girlfriend.... this has got to change or mammas gonna go insane). 

Anyway... I'm sure this is just a phase she's going through... and I'm sure there will be different kinds of "phases" she'll go through... 

This is when I try to find an inner peace and try to soak in EVERY little moment with her. She's only this little ONCE and I want to enjoy it! I want HER to enjoy it. I want her to know I love her unconditionally and I always will. :) So... even though we've had some very rough days ( yesterday being one of them)... I still pick out the GOOD things from those days: like the beautiful smiles she gives me and kissing the rolls on her thighs and watching her fall asleep in my arms. 

These little things make it all worth it! Before I know it, she'll be all grown up. I don't want to look back and wonder where those years have gone. 

 When she wakes up from her nap, I'm taking her on a walk. Today will be a GOOD day, even if it's not. :) 

 I love this weather!