2012 ~ another deep post

My heart is full today. I have been pondering a lot lately about life on earth & how fragile it is.

 This year has been full of wonderful blessings... more than I deserve. This has been such an amazing year raising our sweet Madeline. She has blessed our life more than she'll ever realize. I don't know how we've ever lived with out her. She lights up our life. Nick worked SO hard while he was at BYU, he graduated in April with a major and two minors. He also studied and prepared well for the MCAT, which he took & did well. He applied to some MD & DO schools. It was kind of a fun, yet scary time in our lives, because wherever he chooses to go to school, is where we would be living for at least 4 years.

I remember when he applied to some east coast schools, I kept telling him, " There's no way we'll move that far away. Surely we'll be lots closer to family." .... boy was I wrong.  He got accepted to a wonderful medical school in Philadelphia & he was so excited about it. It was his favorite school that he applied to and interviewed at. When I realized how excited he was about Temple in Philly, I quickly changed my attitude to a positive one { mainly because I knew in my heart that's where we'd be going, so I could either have a bad or good attitude about it. I decided a good attitude would make things much better & more enjoyable.} He sent them an acceptance letter back saying we would 'love' to attend their medical school. I was nervous, scared, and excited for the new chapter in our lives. I kept these thoughts in my mind for the first little while: "I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord." Again, not to mention how excited Nick was about going! I am SO proud of Nick and all the hard work he's put into his schooling. It's all paid off. So...we prepared for our huge move & said goodbye to Provo in July.

We have really enjoyed our time in Philadelphia so far. We have met such wonderful people who are in a very similar boat as Nick & I. {Lots of wonderful medical & dental students & their lovely wives.} It's been a lot of fun getting to know everyone. I have been so grateful for their warm welcomes and the wonderful friendships we've made. I have definitely seen the Lord's hand in our lives this past year. We really are so blessed!

We've been able to visit New York City a few times { It's only a train ride away!} There is SO much history in Philadelphia & we have SO much more to see. We were also able to visit the beach in New Jersey. It was so fun hanging out in the Atlantic Ocean for the first time. We have really enjoyed driving the beautiful roads in Pennsylvania. One of my favorite spots is "Amish Country." It is absolutely breathtaking where they live. We've had a lot of fun exploring where we live. We've also had the opportunity to see where the declaration of Independence & Constitution of the United States was written and signed. Standing in the very room where those valiant men stood was so moving & I felt so blessed to be there. The spirit was definitely very strong and I know that our country was formed by the hand of our God. What a blessed country we live in.

but also a very wicked world we live in, too.

My heart has been heavy this past year as I've watched the news and seen the horrible acts of single men destroying lives and families. It's been really weighing me down. From all the different shootings this past year... the movie theater shooting in Colorado really did me in. Bless those people's hearts... they must have been so scared. You shouldn't be afraid for your life when you go to the mall or movie theater.

but wait...

I don't even know if I can express how saddened I was when I heard about the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting in CT a few weeks ago. Kindergarteners & first graders. Teachers. Babies. Innocent babies. I shed lots of tears for them and their families. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them all. I pray for them too. As a mother & the experience of teaching young ones at an elementary school, it hits really close to home. BLESS the hearts of those families who lost their loved ones that day.

A sweet little family in our stake lost their 22 month old a few days ago because he never woke up. Another friend lost her baby to a tragic accident a few years ago. A dear friend from high school also passed away this year. She was so young. I was reading a blog today about a woman who lost her 10 year old son and then 3 months later, her husband suddenly passed away. She is 38. My heart is aching. Prayers and love go out to those families { and many families} who are dealing with deep sadness & heartache at this time.

I was talking to a dear friend last night about how HARD this earthly life is. { and I haven't even experienced what these people and other people are going through.} I was telling her how paranoid I am of something happening to my husband or baby girl or a loved one. Really, I am. Everyday I worry.

My little brother made the BYU ice hockey team and will now be attending school there, so he needed to get back to Utah.  A few days ago, we all gave him a hug goodbye & he was on his way. About halfway through his trip, he was passing through New Mexico when another car hit him head on... CJ's truck was totaled... but he walked away without a scratch.

My heart stopped when I heard the news. But I quickly thanked my Heavenly Father for the sweet miracle that day of saving my brother's life.

I believe prayers were answered that day and my little brother's life was spared. What a huge miracle and blessing. The power of prayer is real.

So is the will of God.

Then I am thinking about how fragile life is. But how beautiful it is at the same time. Who am I to be always nervous of something happening to a loved one? Where's my faith? Where's my trust in the Lord? This life is hard. We all fight our own battles each day...no matter how big or small.

"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in Him, and serve Him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." - Mosiah 7:33

I wish I could hug these sweet people that I read about in the news who are suffering & mourning over the death of a loved one. I wish I could cry with them and make their pain go away.

Here's where the atonement of Jesus Christ comes in.

I know that our Savior, Jesus Christ, knows the pains and sufferings of these sweet people. He WILL comfort them and IS comforting them in their time of need. He loves them... and each of us. I also know that WE can be instruments in His hands.... to lift up the hands that hang down... to mourn with those who mourn and to comfort those who stand in need of comfort.

I am SO grateful for the plan our Heavenly Father has for each of us.. His children. That because Jesus Christ died and lives again... we TOO will live again. We can live together forever with our families. This life on earth is so short compared to the eternities. What a blessing! I am so grateful that the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored on this earth again through the prophet Joseph Smith. I am so thankful that we have a living prophet today, Thomas S. Monson who directs the Church under the hand of God.

The gospel of Jesus Christ brings JOY and HAPPINESS. It brings PEACE and LOVE. It is the way to eternal life and salvation. I am SO grateful for a loving, merciful Heavenly Father who sent His son to this earth to die & atone for each and every single one of us. I am grateful to know that even though life on earth can be hard & that there is so much wicked in this world, it is ALL overcome and we can find peace through Jesus Christ. HE is the only way to everlasting happiness.

At the close of this year, I've really learned that I need to completely rely on my Heavenly Father. I need to put all my TRUST in Him. I need to savor every moment I have with my loved ones and enjoy every moment. Every breath we take is a gift from Him. I will treasure that from this moment on. And when difficult things come face to face with our little family, I pray we will continue to rely and give our whole selves to Him.

I have always been "the glass is half-full" kind of gal... these past few months have seemed to get the best of me. I repent and realize that this world really has so many beautiful and joyful things to offer. I know He doesn't want us to be fearful or unhappy. He wants us to enjoy the ride... with an eye single to Him....When we do that... we WILL find peace and comfort.

There is Joy in the Journey.

{If you're still here, sorry for the sappy, long post... but I really felt the need to post this.}

Here's one of my favorite scriptures from my mission:

"Therefore fear not little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock; they cannot prevail."

" Look unto Me in every thought, doubt not, fear not."

"Behold, the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen."

I welcome 2013 with open arms!