One Week New

Our sweet baby Madeline is one week old today. 

{ fun fact: The "i" in "Madeline" makes the LONG I sound. Incase you were wondering.} 

I can't believe it's already been a week. The whole pregnancy and labor felt like a dream.

Madeline is still in the NICU. 

The nurses have all been so great and so sweet. I feel so blessed to know she's in good hands. 

She's such a strong little girl, especially for being born at only 34 weeks. 

She just needs to learn how to eat better on her own and gain some weight before she gets to come home. We're still not sure when that will be. She makes progress each day. 

I have been super emotional lately about her. 

I go to the hospital 3x a day to feed her and be with her. They don't want me coming more than that because it will over stimulate her and she needs to sleep and grow. :( I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for blessing us with such a sweet, HEALTHY baby girl. I really feel so blessed that even though she was 6 weeks early, she is very healthy. Nick and I are just so thankful for that. So, so thankful. 

Some of the most spiritual experiences in my life have taken place in the labor and delivery room and the NICU. Each tender moment I have with that little one ~ I try to bottle up and remember forever. Even though I am sitting in a loud, florescent lit, machine filled NICU... I am behind a curtain with my sweet little baby girl, and everything else disappears. It's just me and her. I cherish these moments I have alone with her, just holding her close and kissing her. I love to nestle her very close to my chest... skin to skin. I sit in the glider and rock her back and forth, back and forth. Today I hummed a few lullabies and "I am a child of God" to her. She was listening. My eyes filled with tears the thought of her coming fresh from Heaven and into my arms. I felt the deep, deep love our Heavenly Father has for her. What a precious sprit she holds. She's so innocent and so pure. 

The other day I was holding her behind our little curtain, rocking her... and "Silent Night" by David Archuleta came on their music player. I sat and listened to the words as I thought about the little infant I was holding. That was another special moment I've had with her. Instant joy and happiness filled my heart listening to that, holding her, and just feeling so blessed. I can't really explain it. 

It's an absolute gift and miracle that she is my little girl. 

I am a mom. and it's the best feeling in the world. 

I already love her with all I have and more. It's so crazy how you can fall in love so strong, so fast. 

She's perfect. 

Today has been extra hard for some reason. I hate the thought of leaving her at the hospital. 

It makes me sad that she doesn't get a whole lot of "human touch" because she can't be over stimulated. 

I often wonder... " Is it my fault she came early?" 

I MISS her so much. Our home feels empty with out her. 

So much emotion. 

However, I know she's in great hands. I know she needs this special time to grow and get stronger. 

I know she'll be home soon. and I know she's supposed to be here at this time. 

She is a miracle. 

Thank you for all your prayers and kind words. They mean more than you know!